I started writing this blog about three months ago after I went with my sister to her specialist appointment. I am not sure why it has taken me so long to finish it. I suppose maybe the challenging points in this blog make me reflect on how I did and do now live my life and the whole make sure you practice what you preach thing.
Going back to my sister’s appointment; this was my fifth visit to the Neuro Clinic, going there has become a regular part of my life for the past year. During the appointment we spoke about many things. One thing being that there is no cure for Machado Joseph Disease (MJD), or the technical name Spinocerebeller Ataxia type 3 (SCA3). There also is no treatment for MJD but studies have shown that doing balance exercises and being active helps slow down the onset and progression of symptoms. But it is up to the individual to make this happen. There is no simple tablet that you take each day and the problem is solved. You have to make decisions, push through the struggles and create the lifestyle you want.
A few year ago when I suffered from crippling anxiety. It took me four months to realise what it was and by that stage I was extremely overwhelmed with physical symptoms. I did not want to go anywhere, I felt unwell just being at home, I was nervous all the time. It all started when I was travelling overseas. The doctors over there thought it was something like lyme disease because my symptoms were so physical but the test results came back negative. When I returned back home to Australia it became very obvious that it was something else as I could not fit back into normal life. After seeing a doctor here and being told it was anxiety, I suppose there was a sense of relief that I now had an answer but the hard part was that it was up to me to make myself better.
It was a massive struggle to overcome my fears or to even work out what they were. At the start I was quite upset and scared as I knew there was no magic pill to make it all better. I had to put in the hard work to change the way I thought about things. I had to change the way I thought about myself and what I could or could not do, I had to decide I was worthy of better.
I see many people stuck in their ruts. Ruts of negativity, ruts of I cannot do that, it is my bad habit, I am not sporty, that person said I cannot do that, they laughed at me when I said I wanted to do that.
Unfortunately, there are always going to be ruts in the road as we travel through life. But it is what we choose to do when we find ourselves in them that counts. We have to choose we are worthy of better.
I tell people about some of my ideas and dreams and the response sometimes is a sarcastic laugh followed by ‘you’ll never do that, your too lazy’. But in the end it does not matter what that person thinks or if you make it or not. What matters is that you tried. Yeah maybe I am not meant to be an astronaut but I am still allowed to chase that dream, learn things along the way, and become a better version of myself.
Whether your struggling with your work, relationship, mental health, fitness, sickness, family, money, etc. It is up to you to change it. There can be other things that factor in and make it hard for change but you need to be the one that pushes through it. It may be one step forward, two steps back or sometimes six steps back but you need to keep taking those steps forward. You are worthy of better.
On a TV show I was watching recently a character said, “Recovery is for people who want it, not people who need it.” You could replace ‘recovery’ with ‘change’ or ‘a better life’.
Change is for people who want it, not people who need it.
YOU ARE WORTHY OF BETTER!